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3.3 Pints of Lager and 4 Packets of Bacon

What happens at 7.52 in the evening down the pub after 3.3 pints of lager? According to the Daily Mirror, this is the time and situation where you are most likely to overhear the most interesting conversations going on.

These include the classic pub business deals where, according to survey respondents, you could be offered anything from socks and dodgy CD copies to a broken snooker cue and 100 dead pheasants.

One punter admitted to being offered four packets of smoky back bacon one evening. While there’s no indication of whether they accepted the offer or not, here is an idea of how that conversation might well have panned out – and how this traditional style of doing business neatly maps on to the modern day concept of the sales funnel.

 

The Awareness Phase

Dave: Alright Larry mate, long time no see. See you’ve been enjoying yourself tonight.

Larry: Good to see you Dave. Yeah, it’s Gav’s birthday and we’re planning a night of it. I’m gonna regret it in the morning at my age though.

Dave: Tell you what you need. A fry up in the morning sorts my head out every time.

Larry: It’s alright for you to say that, running a butchers shop. Be lucky to find a bowl of cornflakes in my house.

Dave: Well, it’s your lucky night then. I’ve got some packs of smoky bacon going dead cheap in the van. Was going to chuck em out but if you want them?

 

The Evaluation Phase

Larry: I dunno mate. The Co-op’s just opposite. Might just grab some from there in the morning.

Dave: Listen mate, I’ll do it for four quid. That’s four packs of ten rashers of smoky bacon. A quid a pack. 10p a rasher. You won’t get that price in Co-op.

Larry: I’m not sure mate. Where am I going to put it? Can’t carry it round with me all night.

Dave: Tell you what, I’ll drop ’em round your house if you like. Is Stacey home? Fiver for four packs of bacon and delivery service. I’ll even pop ’em in your fridge. What do you say?

Larry: I dunno Dave, I’m trying to cut down with my weight and all. Perhaps I’ll leave it.

Dave: Ah, that’s a myth that. Bacon’s actually good for weight loss, you know.

Larry: Get lost

Dave: No, it’s true mate. Butcher’s honour. If you trim the rind off, all that protein will sort your blood sugars out in no time. It’s sugary cereals that are the problem, mate. It says so in all the magazines. Good for your mental health too.

Larry: No way

Dave: Well, you’ll be depressed if all you’ve got tomorrow morning is a sore head and a bowl of Special K. (laughs)

Larry: Fair point (laughs)

 

The Decision and Purchase Phases

Dave: So, we’ve got a deal then?

Larry: Alright mate, I’ll have them

Dave: Good lad. You’ll thank me in the morning

Larry: There you go, fiver it is.

Dave: Much obliged. I’ll pop round yours now. Let Stacey know I’m on my way.

 

The Repurchase Phase

Dave: By the way, before I go. Have you got my new number?

Larry: No mate

Dave: Give me your phone and I’ll pop it in there. If you text me yours I’ll give you a shout next time I’ve got anything decent going cheap.

Larry: Alright. Thanks, mate

Dave: No worries. I hate chucking out good quality meat. Well, nice doing business with you. We’ll have to catch up properly soon.

Larry: Definitely. Cheers bud.

 

As you can see, times and marketing tools may change but the buying cycle remains constant.

The first stage is making sure your target customer knows there is a solution to their problem. Next, you need to convince them to choose your product or service over a competing one (or none at all). Then, when you’ve made the sale, you want to try and move to the repurchase phase and secure some future custom.

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